More of my random yacking on the class...

As the semester is beginning to winde down I have just been struck by a sense of sadness. I have finally come to terms with my lesser writing ability (at the moment!) and finaly feel free to write to the best of my ability with no shame and here we are at the end! Maybe I can just beginn again next semester! Hehe, but seriously I will miss this especially now that I feel as though I have come so far. It is very rare, it seems, that true learning ever occurs in a way that we can really see it. Hell it took me writing my whole final paper before I realized that I had learned so much in this class! Even apart from just the readings we have read I have really learned a lot about life and about myself as a writer! I look forward to useing what I have learned in this class and that (for me anyways) is not a very common occurence! Usually I just jump through the usual hoops until summer comes around and then I scurry out to get as shit housed as I possibly can with all my non-literature friends and I 'delete' as much as I possibly can from my brain because I am so annoyed and fed up with all the garbage that I have had to retain over the past year. However I believe that this summer will be different, I can finally sit down and really use the information I have retained this semester because I AM INTERESTED IN IT FOR ONCE! So nice to finally be declared! No more stupid University Studies! Although it was my goal for quite a while to graduate in that ha! All this to say, I have really learned a lot, I will hopefully continue to use the information and skills I have gleened from this class in further education.

I forgot pictures...

This picture has no real significance, it is just a cool picture I took in Thailand. I just had a sudden burst of blog envy and saw that everyone else had really awsome pictures scattered throughout their blogs and I have zero. Thus today being the last day for blogs I thought I would squeeze in a quick one... who knows (I cannot promise anything) this may be the begining of many pictures.. I may just have a bunch of picture blogs by the end of the day-- no writing added.

Final Paper (What I believe to be the real one)

I honestly believe that by accidentally signing up for a 400 level class as a Sophomore may be one of the best decisions I have made throughout my short college career (hopefully I will pass the class though!). I have had the opportunity to see and interact with 'the greats' of the Literature department-- 'the greats' being a cheesy title for Dr. Sexson and, of course, all of you. Yes you, each and every one of the students in Dr. Sexsons class are a piece of the journey I have taken this semester. When I first set foot into Dr. Sexson's class I was scared beyond belief. Here I was, finally doing what I had always wanted to do, I was on my way to becoming a graduate in Literature and as I sat down in a class full of juniors and seniors I could not help but feel out of place-- severely out of place. I was in a room filled with students that had all payed their dues, they had all had 'Captain Morgan' and had there fair share of chalk thrown at them and all knew what Ben Leubner liked to do in his spare time (which turns out to be reading Finnegan's Wake!), these students knew the In's and outs of the Literature department and here I was barely keeping my head above water, that is until I noticed a familiar face-- Jenny Lynn. It is funny to me how there is such an unsaid bond between kids of a small town, I knew Jenny through a few of my friends from Livingston but for the most part had never really talked with her, in this moment I zeroed in on her in point five seconds and was immediately at a desk beside her. She graciously accepted me as the kind hearted person she is and began giving me advice for all the teachers I had and how to keep them at bay. I literally took out a pen and began taking notes, she reassured me so much on that first day and made me see that this was do'able, that I could De-code this department and that I could survive. I admit I was still filled with fear, all of the students in Dr. Sexson's class where talking to one another loudly as though they had known one another for years (which they had), I felt very out of my element even with the help of Jenny and as I left the classroom on that first day I was still very uneasy. Then, as time went on another friendly 'great' decided to help me along-- Sam. Wonderful Sam who is as equally kind hearted as dear Jenny invited me over to watch 'The Skin of Our Teeth' one night with Jenny at her house. I was so excited I feel almost lame admitting it but I was being welcomed in to this amazing world of high brow and low brow books and I was being shown that I was (I know this sounds like I am a high school girl) being accepted. After we watched the movie we all sat down to read some pages from James Joyce's Ulysses, this was a very special moment for me. People, interested in reading books and so interested in one single book that they are all sitting down together in their spare time to read it with one another! This is most likely every day life for Sam and Jenny who surround themselves in the type of environment that would seem to allow such things but for myself this was a unique moment. Mostly because I live with and education major, my mom graduated in accounting, my dad in psychology (and he has worked with computers for his whole life), I am dating a Finance major, my sister is an architect, my best friend is going to school for chemistry, and my brother is a pilot-- I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK ABOUT FINNEGANS WAKE WITH! I have never been pushed in the Literary field because there has never been anyone to push me! None of the people I listed above even knew what Finnegan's Wake was until I of course lashed them to a chair and gaged them to make them listen to me read it aloud! So all this to say I cannot help but read through the blogs I have written this semester and notice that I continually make excuses for my low brow ways but to be completely honest I now do not give a damn. I am low brow as of right now, I have never been exposed to Literary environment until now and I have not had the chance to flourish quite as much as many of you have. Thus I guess I have returned, I have returned to the first day and I have known it for the first time. I can now walk away from this class with a sense of fulfilment. I have read all the same books as any of you have in this course and where I get discouraged by every one's excellent writing I have learned to accept where I am right now. I am not a Junior or a Senior and I have not had the upper hand that many of the students in class have had and I am O.K. with that now. I can be patient with myself, and I want to thank all those who have been patient with me and helped me along the way. I am very happy to now be a part of this wonderful close-knit literary community.

Final Paper conflict and the Blogs that have inspired me...

Once again I just went to skim through some blogs to try and get ideas and I ended up reading Doug's entire blog-- I mean every single one he has written for this class. His writing is very pleasant and personal, yet still intellectual-- I would like to write like he does some day. Then as I went on I clicked on Zach's blog for his final paper just to see what he was writing. He wrote that he scraped his entire idea of relating Buddhism to T.S. Elliot's poetry, I have to say I can't blame him. I have already scraped two of my idea's for this damned paper and I may do it again! I was going to write my neat little story about how a character goes through all of the stories we have read and incorporate all of the works and all of the things I got from class into the characters travels but went out to dinner last night with my girlfriends and one of them being an elementary education major (a very smart girl) was telling me what she planned to write for her 200 level class that she has with Dr. Sexson. I have to admit I was a little discouraged when she relayed to me the exact same story idea I was going to do. Perhaps we are both creative and intelligent or perhaps I am lowering the bar for myself (I know this all sounds very rude and mean of me but it is just how I feel) I cannot help but wonder am I being too low brow? Is that just the way I am right now? Thus I now cannot decide whether I should be writing from personal experience or of the travels of a fun character? Perhaps I shall write both! A high brow and a low brow version of my final paper?! Ha! If I have time that is... I will write my next blog as a blue print for the high brow version (as high brow as I can get).

Pessimistic Thoughts on the Eternal occurrence

"As Dr. Sexson says, you've all been here before, you're the same class I taught last year, and the year before and twenty years ago and we still haven't gotten it."

I copied this from Rio's blog page where he was talking about what to write for his final paper. I have been reading others blogs very frantically in an attempt to come up with ten blogs by Monday (at least! Ha we will see) and I continue to come across Rio's (sorry Rio, not blog stalking you!) anyways I really liked where he was going with this quote that he got from Dr. Sexson. It really makes me feel very small when things are put into such terms as eternal occurrence and reincarnation. Perhaps one goes through an entire lifetime just for one small moment and one small situation to do differently, a 'glitch' so to speak. What if all of our lives came down to one tiny moment in our life, this moment could happen when we are three or perhaps seventy who knows? Or perhaps it will not happen at all perhaps we will miss our chance for this opportunity of profound learning and change and we shall just have to wait until the next life time? I have not read much into reincarnation so to those that have this may all seem very mundane and simple but to me it is my first time to really think about it and I must admit it arises a very hopeful feeling along with a very scared feeling. Hopeful because I like the idea of being given a second chance yet scared because if each tiny thing in a day is so special and could amount to such a giant impact it is hard for me to keep my mind still. I believe that I may be realizing for the first time or maybe for one of many times, that every day counts, and beyond that, every moment, every second counts. I am not sure how to act with such knowledge, usually I would just lay in bed and let the knowledge wash over me. I should get up though, I should try and make it all count, but it just seems to me that there is so much pressure, so much weight on every moment that it is hard to not want to give up. I am at a loss, I do not know what to think. Perhaps I should try to be a bit more optimistic about the whole situation...?

Finergin

So... I took a Finergin to attempt to stop vomiting today. If any of you know what a Finergin is I am sorry, and if you don't, please do not google it or try to find out ever. Anyways I most deffinately thought that my mother was yelling "take a Finagin!" I was mistaken. But regaurdless... I am fine... again.

The Alchemist

ALSO whilst I am in the blogging mood! I never wrote what I thought about The Alchemist! I have to say that it was VERY hard going from reading all the very High Brow books to something so fun and simple! It was kind of nice to be able to shut my brain off for a second and just relax and read! No MaMaLuJo and Paddybarkes echo good safe firelamp bappy go gully! No talk of eggs, Shem, Shaun, or Issy! No Burnt, Giddings, Salvages! However (of course) there was the whole theme of "the eternal returen" and the act of beinging where one started and knowing the place for the first time so point proven, High Brow and Low Brow are very much one in the same in the very simpilist of ways. I like that we had to read that book, it was really calming to have such an easy read yet at the end of it I found myself a little in aw that I had just read this entire book and the whole point was that the treasure was where he had begun, and I was also somewhat annoyed at this because there is so much that goes into the High Brow books. There is the theme of coming back to where one started, the eternal return but on top of that there is five other themes lolling around in the book as well, and on top of THAT perhaps the book happens to be in a DREAM LANGUAGE???? So yes I was somewhat stunned when I realized that was all that there was to The Alchemist, yet as I mentioned it was a very nice break!

Final Paper Idea

As for my Final Paper, I was thinking of writing about a young boy named Burnt and involving all the different characters from all our books in some form or another in a short story of the adventures of Burnt the rebelious teen who is kicked out of class one day and sent to the principals office only to notice a man in a pinstriped suit standing under a Yew tree who claims the boy's name is Guddo and that he must hurry with him through the woods to the man's office. Burnt and the man are accompanied by three of his leather clad cronies and rush off in a panic that is at the moment a mystery to poor Burnt. As the story unravels Burnt will eventually begin where he started and of course know the place for the first time.

Word vomit

I loved all the videos! I just watched some of the ones I missed in class (I have been slacking BUT do not be mistaken, Sexson's class is by far my still my favorite) the videos were fantastic and I am glad I stumbled across them on Rio's blog because now if ever I feel the need over the summer to have a quick refresher of all that we have learned I can simply hop on to my handy dandy blog and check it out! Also on a more serious note-- I am somewhat panicing on what stuff to cram into my last few blogs... I breezed through a few of Jennie Lynn's Bloggs and well... that just made me feel like never writing again ESPECIALLY not on such a public site for fear that people will read my low brow mumbo jumbo and giggle at me... god forbid. Then I skimmed through Rio's blogs... and well... he has all those fancy "Smart Pen" things on his blog... and I thought to myself "at least I have the Penguins and the gold fist on my page" perhaps that will be the deciding factor on if I pass this daughnting four-hundred level class? I would not be surprised, those Penguins are amazing. Ah but still here I am waisting time blogging and lacking any and all profound thoughts! At least I am having a hard time articulating them... I could go on for awhile on this one... this is why I rarely blog... ha! I could do a blog on why I don't blog! Hm or not.. I am at a loss, I truely hope that no one reads this blog... which they most likely will not... I am just having a gay ole time typing... I may not even post this one... it is just nice to type. Perhaps I will make the last of my blogs just translations of Finnigins Wake, which is now my favorite book. Yes indeed, I know it is hard to believe but it may have taken the place of the wonderous Harry Potter, MAY HAVE.

Study Guide TEST 2

1. Name Elliot's Four Quartets
-Burnt Norton
-Little Gidding
-East Coker
-Dry Salvages

2. "When I wake I cry to dream again" - Caliban (in Shakespeare's The Tempest)

3. Memorize verbatum: "We shall not cease from exploration/ And the end of all our exploring/ Will be to arrive where we started/ And know the place for the first time."

4. "I only want to please you" - Prospero (from The Tempest) and the lady in the airplane

5. What are the last words from The Following Story?
"the folloing story"

6. What river do they end up on in The Following Story?
The amazon river (the eternal return --> left and returned to the same place)

7. What is the name of the hollowed out book Neo keeps his money in in "The Matrix"?
Simulacra and Simulation

8. What are the symbols for life and death in Elliot's Four Quartets?
the rose (life) and the yew tree (death)

9. What river related symbol represents Anna Livia?
a delta (Δ)

10. What arabic word in The Alchemist means "it is written?"
"maktub"

11. In Little Gidding, what is the cost of simplicity?
everything --> "A condition of complete simplicity (costing not less than everything)" (59)

12. Where does the main character in The Alchemist find the treasure?
under the tree (at home)

13. According to gnostics, what did Jesus come to bring mankind?
knowledge (gnosis)

14. What does Prospero say to Miranda in The Tempest to stimulate her memory?
"What seest thou else in the dark backward and abysm of time?"

15. What is the essence of alchemy according to Christina?
it is a process of purification

16. What little animal is in the garden in Burnt Norton?
a bird

17. What is the nickname given to Herman Mussert by his students?
Socrates (due to the way he looks -->ugly)
* also goes by the pseudonym Dr. Strabo for his travel guides

18. Santiago de Compostela
-->The camino de Santiago is a collection of pilgramage roots all ending at Santiago de Compostela in Spain (taken to experience transcendence) , also called the path of St. James
--> Santiago is the name of main character in The Alchemist who goes on a journey to find his "personal legend"

19. What is the glitch in the matrix?
déjà vu (Neo experiences it with a black cat)

20. answer: "Mysterious mental maneuver"
--> from Vladimir Nabokov's Transparent Things
--> also used to separate the two parts in Noteboom's The Following Story

21. Shakespeare is to Prospero, as Becket is to Malloy (according to Maggie)

22. What is the name of Santiago's desert girl?
Fatima

23. What is:
The emerald tablet:
The Elixir of Life:
The Philosopher's Stone:

24. Who else is on the boat with Herman Mussert?
- child
- priest
- teacher
- academic
- pilot
- journalist

25. What language was The Alchemist originally written in?
Portuguese

26. What is "anima mundi"?
"soul/spirit of the world" --> The Alchemist

27. Which 2 colors symbolize alchemy (the rose)?
red and white (from the wiki article)

28. What is the most repeated word in The Tempest?
"now"

29. What game are Ferdinand and Miranda playing?
chess

30. What is Mussert's profession"
latin teacher, teacher of the classics, and travel guide writer

31. According to Dr. Sexon, what to Miranda's attendants symbolize mythologically speaking?
the 9 muses

32. What is the latin word meaning "time?"
"dies"

33. What are the two exceptions to the rule that low brow books are popular and high brow books are not popular?
(1) the bible and (2) Shakespeare's writings

34. How long is The Following Story; how much time passes?
2 seconds (one for each part)

35. Who is in the foilage in Burnt Norton?
children

36. What story from Ovid's Metamorphosis does Mussert play out for his students?
Phaethon driving his father's chariot

37. Mussert - "The world in a never ending cross reference"

38. Prospero - "Release me from these bands with the help of your great hands"
--> asking the audience to clap if they liked the show (in the end of the book/play

Study Guide Test 1 (that I never posted)

Below are the questions from class that need to be remembered for the test.

1. dolce dumum: home sweet home

2. What kind of litterature goes on during plerosis (the filling up)?
comedy and romance

3. What/Who does Mama Lujo refer to in Finnegans Wake?
Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John

4. What does "God safe firelamp" sound like in Finnegans Wake?
"God save Ireland"

5. Who are the five main characters of Finnegans Wake?
1. HCE
2. ALP
3. Shem
4. Shaun
5. Issy


6. Name 2 of the 4 imaginary lands mentioned at the begining of Haroun and the Sea of Stories.
1. Zemla
2. Zenda
3. Xanado
4. Zafar

7. How does Malloy get into communication with his mother?
By knocking on her skull

8. What happened to Moran's son?
We don't really know for sure

9. $ in "Malloy"
--> gives son 4 pence for bike
--> an indication of the deteration of the character as even material wealth deteriorates by end

10. The begining of "East Coker," in the Four Quartets, begins with what theme from class?
*Myth of Eternal Return
--> memorize the first 3 lines of East Coker: "In my begining is my end. In succession/ Houses rise and fall, crumble, are extended,/ Are removed, destroyed, restored, or in their place/ Is an open field, or factory, or a by-pass.

11. Who was the German philosopher that was responsible for the rethinking of the myth of eternal return?
Frederick Nietzsche

12. Nietzsche said, "The closest approximation of coming into being" (I'm what is was in reference to though)

13. portmanteau: when two words are combined to make another word that infers multiple meanings
--> image of a portmanteau brief case with two separate compartments

14. metathesis: corpse + crops = cropse

15. What is the name of the maid in the Skin of Our Teeth? What does it refer to historically?
Her name is "Sabina", and it is a reference to the Sabine women (the abduction of Sabine women by Romans for wives)


16. 4 elements in the Four Quartets
1. Air (Burnt Norton)
2. Earth (East Coker)
3. Water (Dry Salvages)
4. Fire (Little Gidding)

17. Who is Maggie from the Skin of Our Teeth compared to in Finnegans Wake?
Analivia Plurabell

18. Henry = Cain (scar on his forehead is in a "c" shape)

19. demotic language: "dude language"; language of the common men
-->Giambatista Vico's decline of ages/language *gods-heroes-men-chaos-

20. What happens in the space between "the" and "river run..."?
*the whole day
*the completion of the novel through the completion of the sentence

21. What does P2C2E mean?
Process too Complicated to Explain

22. Haroun and the Sea of Stories is profoundly referential to other pieces of literature, to what 4 digit number does Haroun and the Sea of Stories and Finnegans Wake refer to?
1001

23. What is the name of the song played in class to introduce Finnegans Wake?
The Ballad of Tim Finnegan

24. FINNEGAN'S WAKE...what is wrong with this?
There is no apostrophe, indicating it is referring to multiple people, not just one person

*Be familiar with the terms in the glossary of Haroun and the Sea of Stories

*Review the class notes found in Sam Clanton's "master" blog

List of items in the top drawer of my Ugly desk

Drawer Items:
Book- "Many ways to say I Love You" by Mister Rogers, two very large randomly placed and rarely worn metal bracelt cuffs from Thailand, an unpaid parking ticket, yellow note cards, unused calculator, The Sims 3, tanning goggles, white out, pencils of many kinds one of which a person I hate gave me which is of Disney Princesses, a sparkley wallet, Midol, paper clips, lead, a broken mirror that my friend brought back for me from the Moulin Rouge, old chapstick, more old chapstick, a decorative stone that has inscribed the words "Clarity", a piece of paper with my old english teachers phone number on it, Sharpies of multiple colors, a rubber band, an old hearsheys kiss wrapper, hand sanitizer, a tag that says 'Coach' that fell off my purse, a To Do list that never got done, a nail file, a gift card from Salon Rituals (DO NOT GO THERE)

Items in Room

I have a large picture on my wall directly across from my bed, it is huge and it is of some species of purple flowers that I have always been unsure of. Below this gigantic picture is my desk. A white desk, very old. The desk was given to me by my sister who decided one day that she hated the thing and that it was ugly-- I have yet to be grasped by a surge of hate for the desk although many people do comment on the ugliness of the white desk. Atop the ugly desk is my lap top, my crappy, crappy dell that continually shuts down of its own accord and cannot be unplugged from the wall. Dear dell I hate you. There is a framed picture of my dad and I dancing at my brothers wedding in Texas, I love that picture. There is a crappy lamp that my mother pawned off to me from her collection of junk, this lamp matches my ugly desk. Lastly there is a crappy, crappy Dell printer to match my crappy laptop, this printer is just as moody as the laptop. The contents of the drawers I will not go into, maybe I will save that for the listing blog. Next I have a little white cabinet next to my ugly white desk, within this cabinet are all the wonders of make up and hair accessories. Atop my little white cabinet is my brown jewelry box over flowing with gobs of costume jewelry that I will hopefully never wear into public although I love every piece very much (almost as much as my ugly white desk, and my crappy laptop). I have old roses that are crunching onto the top of my dresser from Valentines day-- I should probably throw those away-- and a picture of my childhood friend and I together in Texas, and another framed photo of my family right beside it. My picture frames are ugly and tacky. They are large obnoxious flowers on one of them and the other looks like a boa that belongs to a cheep Vegas stripper, this frame is pink feathered. Do not ask why I have such a profound love of tacky things because I do not understand it either. I have my handy dandy elephant piggy bank, that is much too full because of my horrible spending habits and my constant in flow of change left over from these spending habits. I have a yoga mat shoved in the corner of my room-- much too unused-- and some paper lamps that are also much too rarely used. Ah and now for my bed, it is a huge brass bed that looks like something that floated to shore when the Titanic sank-- anther one of my mothers treasures that she pawned off on me. Covering my brassy wonder of a bed is what my boyfriend describes as a "grandma's comforter" maybe it is just another one of my tacky collections or maybe college kids can't recognize good taste, I am not sure.